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and that suspension will help. It will help you to come out of it, or end it. Either way it will help... but you will have to take a decision.
What I am insisting is that it is going to be a very healthy exercise for you to decide. If you remain a dental surgeon, then it has to be your decision, not otherwise. It should not be like a no-decision... that's bad. You have been asking the question from the wrong side, and that's a trick of the mind. So always remember that a no-decision is also a decision.
For nine years you have continued to be a dental surgeon and you don't like it. That's suicidal. Nothing is wrong with dentistry. If you like it, it is beautiful. If you don't like it, it is poisonous. Anything that you don't like and you continue against yourself is going to create a very suicidal situation. And the more you remain in it, the less you will be capable of coming out of it, because habits become stronger and stronger. You will become more and more involved in it. And you will lose courage -- because the more you are in a profession, settled, comfortable, the more risky it becomes. For a dentist to become a musician after nine years is difficult.
After twenty years it will become impossible, because then the risk is too much; then you are moving onto the streets. So don't waste time!
If you don't like anything, whatsoever it is, to remain in it even for a single moment is suicidal. Then whatsoever the risk, come out of it. Because it is not only a question of coming out of it -- it will release your energy, and you will be able to commit it somewhere else. When you close one door, another opens. If you don't close this door, no other door opens -- because it is the same energy which has to open the other door.
If you go on clinging to one woman and you don't want her and you don't feel good, it is a constant trouble. It is not only poisonous to you, it is poisonous to her. If you are not kind to yourself, at least be kind to her; at least be human to her. Because it is not only that you are crippling yourself; you are crippling her also.
Any relationship that becomes miserable is going to cripple both the participants.
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