| |
years' conditioning. Your mother and mother's mother and all the women that have preceded you, were all conditioned, and that conditioning has penetrated into you too.
So the problem will be there unless you become very conscious and drop it. Only two are the possibilities: one possibility is to go on nagging your friend, as women have been doing down the ages. That doesn't help; that simply makes the man feel more repulsed by the woman. The more you nag, the more you throw him into somebody else's embrace, because he becomes tired, bored with you, and he would like to go somewhere and meet somebody who will not nag; and it is a relief That is not going to help and that is destructive too.
The other thing is: become courageous, tell him that if he feels like that, then take note of it -- you will also move in the same way. There should not be double standards! If he enjoys loving other women then you will enjoy loving other men. You love him but you will love other people too. Just make it clear to him, and immediately if he is afraid, if he himself is a jealous type, either he will say 'I will stop' -- but then he is stopping on his own.... Or there is no need to be worried -- you start moving also. Nothing is wrong in it!
I am not saying that he is doing anything wrong. All that I am saying is: there should not be two standards, only one standard for both. And each couple has to decide on a single standard; that is the commitment. Either you both decide that you will remain only for each other, monogamous -- good, if you both decide willingly, happily, joyously.... If it is not possible -- one says 'I would like to keep my freedom' -- then you also keep your freedom! Why be miserable? The misery arises because he is having fun and you are just sitting there thinking of him. You also have fun!
And this is not a question which is personal only to you. This is going to be the question for every woman in the future. Gather courage! I will help you -- these groups and meditations will help you. Gather courage, and tell him before you start moving 'This is going to be the case -- don't feel jealous of me.' Because men are even more jealous;
|
|
|