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other is never responsible. Try to make this such a permanent state of awareness in you that whenever you start finding something wrong with the other, remember it. Catch yourself redhanded, and drop it then and there. And ask to be forgiven.
And the second thing. Don't think that love is eternal. It is very fragile. It is as fragile as a rose flower. In the morning it is there -- by the evening it is gone. Any small thing can destroy it. In fact the higher a thing, the more fragile it is. It has to be protected. A rock will remain there but the flower will be gone. If you throw a rock against the flower, the rock is not going to be hurt, but the flower will be destroyed.
Love is very fragile and very delicate. One has to be very very careful and cautious about it. You can do such harm that the other becomes closed, becomes defensive. That's how one becomes closed. If you are fighting too much he will start escaping you; he will start becoming more and more cold, more and more closed, so he is no more vulnerable to your attack. Then you will attack him more because you will resist that coldness. This can become a vicious circle. And that's how lovers fall apart by and by. They drift away from each other, and they think that the other was responsible, that the other betrayed them.
In fact as I see it, no lover has ever betrayed anybody. It is only ignorance that kills love -- nobody betrays it. Both wanted to be together, but somehow both were ignorant. Their ignorance played tricks upon them and became multiplied. By and by they drifted. Then they think that love is dangerous.
Love is not dangerous. Only unawareness is dangerous.
There are many people who avoid love just to be on safe ground. There are people who don't want to get committed in any relationship because they know that once you are committed and you come close, fighting starts, resistance starts, and ugly things bubble up, so what is the point? At the most they are interested in sexual relationships, but not in intimacy. And unless a relationship is intimate and deep, you will never know what relationship is. Just a sexual relationship is a peripheral thing, and you
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