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it says to you, 'You will be unprotected. I will protect you.' The doubt says, 'I am not against trust. Trust, but first observe. First be doubtful and then trust. When you are convinced that there is no possibility of being deceived, then trust.' Doubt never says, 'I am against trust.' No, doubt always says, 'In fact I am trying to help you to find someone to trust. I am just a servant to you. If you listen to me you will be able to find somebody whom you can trust.'
But you will never find the right person because once you have become accustomed to doubt, it is a chronic thing. Even if you come face to face with God, you will continue doubting. It has nothing to do with the person outside. It is just that you have a habit. You cannot relax it immediately. If you have been protecting it and watching it and feeding it for your whole life, you cannot put it aside.
Many times trust will create very insecure situations, will lead you on dangerous paths. You will become more vulnerable, will be easily cheated and deceived. But still I say that whatsoever the cost, trust is the only treasure to be protected.
And now you will understand this, because your heart will immediately show you what is going wrong with your system. It is a good indication that you are able to feel trust and doubt and their impact on you.
So whenever you feel that something is contracting in the heart, immediately look inside -- doubt has arisen somewhere. Somewhere you have lost contact with your trust. Somewhere you are no more in tune with life. You have become separate.
Doubt separates. Trust unites. And when you are united, the heart flows well, in a rhythm, harmonious. That's what I call being holy. To be in the heart and the heart flowering -- that's what a holy man is. To be in the head, calculating, clever, is to be unholy.
So just watch it and don't lose this indication again. Good.
[A sannyasin who is a primal therapist said: My mother tried to suffocate me when I was three months old. I know that through Primal therapy and through psychic people who were able to confirm it.
Osho checks his energy.]
It has left a deep scar,
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