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on continuously -- because it is such a deep-going method, mm? it is just like drilling a hole in you -- it can become too much. You can go berserk or something in the aeroplane, and that will not be good
[A sannyasin says: I'm going home tomorrow, too. I feel kind of afraid... of people that I want to resolve things with -- family and friends. And I want to bring some of them back with me.]
Remember one thing: that there are things which, if you try to do them consciously, you will fail in. There are a few things that can be done only in a very indirect way, never directly.
For example, if you have seen something, tasted something, then it is very natural that you would like to share it with your friends, your family. But don't be too aggressive about it because that will become a barrier. In fact don't try to convince anybody about it. You simply go there and let them see what has happened to you, mm?
If you become too concerned about them you become nervous. If you are nervous you will become tense. If you become tense you may say that meditation gives silence, but your whole presence will show something else -- that you are tense, nervous, anxious. It will be a self-defeating thing. Don't be worried about them.
If you can carry whatsoever you have felt, that's enough. Just enjoy in their presence. Let them see that you are smiling more, that you can laugh deeply. Let them see that you have become more tranquil and collected and calm. Let them see that you don't react so easily. Let them feel your being -- and that will be their change. They will start asking what has happened. Then too, don't become too aggressive, because whenever you are aggressive the other becomes too defensive -- that's natural.
If you are not aggressive the other is defenceless -- and it is easier to enter in a defenceless person. When he becomes defensive then he starts protecting, arguing, rationalising -- and it is difficult, almost impossible. And particularly with people who have been intimately related to you -- family and friends who have known you from your very childhood. They simply cannot believe that you have changed. That is too much
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