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being never happens comfortably -- otherwise it would have happened to all. Remember, being cannot happen conveniently -- otherwise everybody would have being without any problem. Being happens only when you take risk, when you move in danger. And love is the greatest danger there is. It demands you totally.
So don't be afraid -- go into it. If the relationship survives truth, it will be beautiful. If it dies, then too it is good because one false relationship has ended, and now you will be more capable of moving into another relationship... truer, more solid, more concerning the essence.
But remember always, falsity never pays. It appears to, but it never pays. Only truth... and in the beginning, truth never looks like it is going to pay. It seems it will shatter everything. If you look at it from the outside, truth looks very very dangerous, terrible. But this is an outside view. If you go in, truth is the only beautiful thing. And once you start cherishing it, tasting it, you will demand more and more because it will bring contentment.
So don't be afraid. Gather courage to be, and go through these groups. They will be helpful, mm? But go truly there, otherwise nothing can be of help. And it will be good if the two of you can do the groups separately, because if you do them with your boyfriend, or husband or wife, their presence goes on functioning like an inhibitory force. You have been so related to them that the old pattern tends to repeat. It is easier with strangers to be truer.
Have you watched it? People just travelling in a train start talking with strangers -- and they assert things they have never asserted to their friends, because with the stranger, nothing is involved. After just half an hour your station will come and you will get off -- you will forget and he will forget what you have said. So whatever you have said makes no difference; nothing is at stake with a stranger.
People talking to strangers are more true, and they reveal their heart; but talking with friends, with relatives -- father, mother, wife, husband, brother, sister -- there is a deep unconscious inhibition. 'Don't say this -- he may feel hurt.'
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