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you are exploiting the other person to fill your emptiness and loneliness. You are using the other person; the other has become a means. And he will try to make you a means -- because he is also empty and afraid. And hence the conflict that goes on in lovers. Everybody is trying somehow to use the other. Whatsoever the pretensions, everybody is trying to use the other, because one feels lonely, afraid. One needs the other.
Once you know how to be alone, you don't need the other. Then the relationship is light, weightless, and it has a beauty because nobody corrupts it. It is just for relationship's cake There is no end to it, no goal. You don't cling, because there is no point -- you can be alone.
This is my understanding: that people who have come to understand their aloneness -- have understood even to the extent that they welcome it -- only they are capable of love. Because in the first place, love needs you to be. That aloneness will make you an individual, integrated.
The whole point is that you are coming up against those things from which you have been hiding up to now -- and that is the whole purpose of my being here.
Everybody who comes to these moments will start thinking of escaping. The image starts falling. Amitabh is also passing through problems. He has problems, you have problems. Don't pretend that they are not there. Now it is better to tackle them, better to solve them. Escaping won't be of any help. And whatsoever you have come to know, you cannot unknow now.
Go and live in California or anywhere. Whatsoever you have come to understand will go on haunting you. And there you will feel it more -- because I will not be there. There is no need to be worried about any security. I am your security. So why be worried unnecessarily?
Whenever Amitabh is in a negative mood, and whenever he wants to be alone and you feel rejected, then you become insecure. But Amitabh himself is not secure, so how can he give security to you? I can give you security. Amitabh cannot. He can pretend (Anupama laughs). How can you give security to Amitabh? You yourself are not rooted yet. So don't ask the impossible. He cannot give,
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