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what's happening.]
Living is hard, loving is harder. But fantasising about love is easy -- that's what people misunderstand for love.
So whenever people say that they have fallen in love, they are just fantasising, projecting. Whatsoever they need, they go on projecting onto the other. They make the other to look as they would like, they paint the other's face in their own colours. Falling in love is not a real phenomenon -- it is dreamstuff. You both create two ideal natures which are unreal and which cannot bear up long enough. The moment you start settling, reality starts asserting itself and problems arise. Now you are not alone -- the other is there.
The problem arises when you have to make concessions for the other and his reality, his way of being. In the beginning each lover is alone and the other is just like a screen onto which he goes on fantasising; the other is passive. But by and by you come close, you settle; the honeymoon is over. The other has to be real otherwise he will start feeling phoney, and when the reality comes, it is hard: then there is conflict.
You would like her according to you, and she would like you according to her... and these are unconscious things.
So every love is, in a way, doomed. If it is love it is doomed, and the greater it is, the greater is the danger. If you have been on a very big flight, if you have moved really high, you will fall to the very bottom, to the very lowest point of your energy -- and then miseries and crying and weeping. In this state, if you become a little aware, if you see the whole thing a little aloof, as if it is not happening to you but to two characters... not to you -- and if you try to be a little detached, this painfull period will pass. You will never go tot hat height which was possible in a romantic moment, but that is not needed, because each high brings a low, and life has to settle somewhere in the middle, in a balance.
That's where, if love continues in spite of all the problems, it finally settles; a balance, a baseline, from where you start operating -- neither high nor low, a tranquillity, a stillness. Of course there is not going to be that
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