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all these negative states. You have enjoyed the high; now you have to enjoy the low also! And don't try to escape from the low -- live it. That too is part of growth. And if you love each other then whatsoever happens, all helps finally; eventually it helps. These are all growth pangs, pains.
So this is all that I would like to say to you: that the mind would like to change or to live again and again in the same fantasy, and if the fantasy is not possible, then it would like you to change partners. This is how mind functions . . mind has no patience, so don't listen to it.
You have both changed partners enough; that is not going to help much. this time make awareness your concentration, rather than love, and love will follow.
(to the woman) And don't create unnecessary problems. If you can watch them, drop them -- good. If it is absolutely impossible to drop them, have a little fight, create a little trouble, but remain conscious. At least you can do one thing: when one is getting into it, the other can remain conscious. Make it a contract that when [your lover] gets deep into it, you have to be conscious; when you get into it, he has to be conscious. Help each other to be conscious.
In fact that is the greatest gift that love can give -- the gift of awareness.
And one more thing I would like to tell you is that in the beginning when two persons fall in love, they are interested in each other. Sooner or later that starts fading because you become known to each other.
You were curious to know each other because you were unknown territories. Sooner or later you become known territories -- the whole topography of the body and the mind is known; by and by one becomes acquainted. Then the problem arises of how to remain continuously interested in the other. Either you can pretend -- as in the whole world marriage goes on pretending, both partners knowing that it is not true and is humanly impossible.... And pretension is not good. Nothing destroys love more than pretension. Once two partners have decided to pretend, their love is already dead. So never pretend. Then what to do? If the interest is already fading and you don't
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