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it will seem negative because of the comparison. You have been continuously occupied and suddenly you are empty.
It is like a man who retires. For the whole of his life he has been thinking and planning how beautiful it will be when everything is finished and he will retire. And when retirement comes, suddenly he becomes aware that this is emptiness.
Psychoanalysts say that retired people die ten years earlier than they would have if they were occupied. Their whole life is lessened by ten years because suddenly they have nothing to do. For their whole life they have been engaged -- engaged too much, always on the brink of a nervous breakdown -- and now, suddenly nothing to do. The change is too much.
The same happens when you start meditating and emptiness starts coming to you. Don't judge it by the past. Rather wait and judge it by its own nature. Don't compare it with the past -- that is the point to remember. You have never known it, so say to the mind 'How can we judge? How can we say that it is negative? How can we say that it is nothing? First let us taste it, let us experience it'.
Let the experience be ontological: not on the past experience, not comparative to anything else, but on its own existence, its own experience. Experience it. Let it reveal its nature to you. Cherish it... sing it, dance it, enjoy it, so from every dimension you know what it is. Look into it again and again in many moments. In different moods, close your eyes and again see it -- how it is, what it is. This is ontological .
The experience grows, and one day you will see that this is the most positive thing that has ever happened to you, or can ever happen to any human being, because out of this nothingness you will see millions of things happening. The whole tension of doing is dissolved; things happen on their own. Flowers flower... and the grass grows by itself. You simply sit silently with nothing to do. You need not pull the grass up to help it grow; it grows by itself. Then life is no longer a burden... Life is just a play.
So this is my suggestion: try to be more and more in it. Don't avoid it, mm? Don't try to forget it; don't try
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