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to disturb your peace -- then it is up to you. If you want to disturb, disturb; be happy that you disturbed it. Otherwise if you don't want to do it there is nobody asking you to; don't do it. It is as simple as that. But the solution has to be looked for in the direction of understanding.
Everybody in the world wants to be peaceful and happy, this and that, but it never happens it seems. So it seems that somewhere we are looking wrongly. If you are not at peace, why? And don't be a coward and avoid that 'why'. Never throw the responsibility on anybody else, because then there is no solution. If you say it is [your wife], or Divya [their daughter], somebody else who is the cause of your disturbed state of mind, then it is not going to be solved, because if somebody is the cause, then what can you do? And I tell you, nobody is the cause but you.
Even if [your wife] disturbs you, you must be asking for it; you must be managing it somehow. In the first place, if you have fallen in love with [your wife that shows a deep tendency that you like such a type of woman to disturb you, otherwise you would have chosen some other type of woman (laughter).
So always fall back on yourself. Always go on looking deeper and deeper to where the cause is.
As I see it, no man need be disturbed -- no man... but we want it. It will be difficult for you, but I would like to say that whatsoever has happened to you, you have longed for it, You have wanted it; you have invested much in it. once you understand that it is you, the solution is not far away; it is very close. If I am responsible for my misery, I can drop it immediately. Responsibility brings freedom. And understanding means to feel responsible.
So do the group... and look for understanding. And what you are saying -- that you are going to try hard -- is again wrong. That again may be a way to misunderstanding.
Don't try hard. Relax. Do everything with more alertness -- not hard. There is nobody that you have to prove something to. Just relax and see what is happening to you. Open yourself... don't close. Otherwise in the effort, in that hardness -- that in this group you have to attain
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