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no more a child. You can be on your own... now you can be happy alone. Just the conditioning has to be dropped. And this is the beauty of it -- once you start being happy and alone, you become capable of relationship. Before that you are not capable of a relationship, because how can a person who cannot be happy alone, be happy in relationship? In the first place, happiness does not exist in him.
So I am not against relationship -- I am all for it, but before you can relate, you have to be. And if you are miserable and you relate with someone, you are going to create more misery. The misery is bound to be multiplied; not only doubled but multiplied. He is miserable, you are also miserable. He cannot be alone, you cannot be alone, so you depend on each other. And whenever you depend on somebody, you can never forgive that man. He makes you dependent, he makes you feel helpless. He becomes powerful and dominates you.
So deep down, every lover is against, hates, the person he loves -- because nobody can love slavery. You can love only freedom. But freedom is possible only when you are free to be happy, and when you can be happy absolutely alone. If there is nobody, then too you can enjoy, dance, sing. That becomes your very quality of being. Then you can relate... then your happiness relates. Your music relates... your singing and dancing relates. Of course you multiply your happiness. Whatsoever you have will be multiplied in relationship. If you have misery, misery will be multiplied. If you have happiness, happiness will be multiplied.
In relationship you will be reflected in millions of ways -- but you will be reflected.
And one more thing -- if you are unhappy, you will always make a relationship with an unhappy person. We tend to choose somebody with whom we feel a similarity of wave-length. A miserable person tends to find a miserable partner. And a miserable person can be chosen only by a miserable person. Even if you choose a person who is happy, he will not choose you unless you are happy. Why should he get into trouble? Who wants to get into hell?
So this is my suggestion, that before you start choosing a person, moving
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