| |
up.
This has to be dropped, otherwise you will be able to enjoy active meditations, but you will never be able to enjoy inactive meditations. And active meditations can only lead you to the porch. You only reach inside the palace by inactive meditations. Activity can only be on the circumference -- the centre is still, unmoving.
Primal will be good, mm? It will bring your childhood back, and you can be finished with it! And this is one thing to be understood: something from the childhood goes on continuing in the mind if it has not been completed. If you were rebellious there would have been no problem. You were obedient, and of course every obedient child has to face this problem, because on the surface he carries something, and inside he is against it. So a division is created, and that incomplete experience is continued.
In the Primal it will be brought back. You will have to relive it... you will have to pass through the whole misery again. But it is worth it, because once you pass through it and you do that which you always wanted to do when you were a child and never did, things will be completed, finished. Finished with the orphanage, finished with the church, finished with Christianity -- finished with the past. So you do it.
And after the Primal I will give you the Bodhidharma meditation -- to sit and just look at the wall.
It has been good. It was difficult, it was hard -- because to break any conditioning is hard -- but I am happy that you came against something which is a barrier. Now it can be broken. Good.
[Another group member says: I found the group really difficult. I've done marathons before and came out of them feeling really high, but in this group I became aware of how angry I am.]
This has to be understood. All the group therapies in the West are cathartic. You are allowed to act out; not only allowed -- you are really forced to act out. So whatsoever is there, pent up, is released. One feels good, unburdened, but nothing basically changes. Again you will accumulate the same, because you remain the same. You just take the lid off the kettle so the vapour is released, the steam is released. For
|
|
|