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lid is on again, because you cannot move in the world with the lid off. You will be too vulnerable, and it will be very difficult to live.
So in the group you take the lid off -- you feel good. Out of the group you again act, start behaving in the old way, the steam again gathers. That's why there are many people who have become almost addicts for groups. They live from one encounter group to another, from one marathon to another -- as if life is just meant to go from one group to another. And just in between they feel sad. It is as it groups become an alternative life. That is dangerous because groups are therapy, therapeutic, and they should not become a style of life.
You can release things a thousand and one times, but if the basic pattern doesn't change, you will accumulate again. There is nothing wrong in releasing it -- it is good, but there is nothing permanent about it.
Eastern methods are totally different. They are not cathartic. On the contrary, they bring you up against your pattern. They are not worried much about the pent-up energy. They are concerned about the pattern, the inner mechanisms that create the energy, repress it, and make you angry, sad, depressed, neurotic. The pattern has to be broken. To release the energy is very simple... to break the pattern is difficult; it is hard work.
So it is good that you came against the pattern. Now try to do something to change the pattern. I will suggest you do three things. One is: every day for fifteen minutes, any time that you feel good, choose a time and close the room and become angry -- but don't release it. Go on forcing it... go almost crazy with anger, but don't release it, no expression... not even a pillow to hit. Repress it in every way -- do you follow me? It is just the exact opposite of catharsis.
If you feel tension arising in the stomach as if something is going to explode, pull the stomach in; make it as tense as you can. If you feel the shoulders are becoming tense, make them more tense. Let the whole body be as tense as possible... as if almost on a volcano -- boiling within and with no release. That is the point to remember -- no release, no expression.
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