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no thrill. The other brings the thrill, the excitement, the misery and the happiness, the pain and the pleasure, both heaven and hell. Drama starts.
You cannot make a story out of pleasure only... it will be boring. The pain is needed -- it gives flavour, the contrast. You cannot make a painting with one colour. There will be no painting... it will be just a canvas. At least two colours are needed; some contrast is needed. The more colours there are, the more beautiful painting will evolve out of it. When colourful persons meet, there is much drama. [your woman] is colourful -- and much drama is possible (a chuckle). So don't be afraid... enjoy it. While it lasts, enjoy it, because nobody knows -- tomorrow you may not be there.
So enjoy this moment as if it is going to be the last. And remain true to the present. And there is no other commitment: only commitment to the present. There is no other responsibility... only one: to be true, authentic for that which is right now. Don't be bothered about the past and the future.
[A sannyasin says: I feel like I'd like a companion, a man... I was with a man last night and I didn't know whether to have sex or not... because I just wanted to be close... ]
That is always a problem with man and woman. Women always like more to just be close -- and just to be close is not enough for a man. So if you want to be close, you should always remember that man has a different mind. Women are passive, so just being close gives them enough Man is active... his whole sex energy is active. Unless he becomes actively engaged, he feels frustrated. He feels that you bring him up to the door and then you refuse. You invite him and then you refuse. He feels rejected.
So always remember when you love a man, love his masculinity. Otherwise this is cheating. You want just closeness, and no man is interested in just closeness. Then one should become a lesbian: two women just interested in closeness -- finished! There is nothing wrong in it, but if you are interested in men, then remember masculinity.
And whenever energy starts flowing, you will also feel sexual. Ordinarily the whole of humanity has been repressed
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