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is created. The woman feels tremendously happy. She may be living in misery because these two persons are in constant conflict, but she feels good that she is desired by two men.
That is not going to help. It will give you a feverish excitement, but that fever is going to be destructive to your being. I will not suggest that. So choose. Decision is good because it makes you decisive. Don't linger on because that too is a decision -- a decision to remain indecisive. Choose.
If you think that you want the other man more, think, ponder over it. But if you want to be with Prakash, then drop the other man. It is as if you are making love to [your husband] and the other man is always in between you. It will be there and Prakash will not feel any privacy. He will be holding your hand and there will be a third hand in between you and the intimacy will not flower. One has to decide.
Life is a continuous moment to moment decision. You cannot go in all ways. If you want to come to India, you have to leave Canada. If you want to live in Canada, you have to leave India. You cannot live everywhere. One cannot spread oneself thin, all over the earth. One will lose one's being totally. One has to remain centred.
So not only with love; about everything, be decisive. I know, I understand that it is hard. Sometimes it is just fifty/fifty. It feels hard how to decide -- but then too, one has to decide. Toss a coin or consult the I Ching, but still decide. To remain in an indecision longer is very very dangerous. It gives you a quality of being indecisive. And if one learns that trick, then one wastes one's whole life. Then in small things also one starts becoming indecisive. One lingers, lingers, lingers... hesitates. And if too much lingering and hesitation is there, it will be difficult, very very difficult, to take the final jump into God, into the divine.
Love is a learning... the first lesson of religion. It helps you to decide. And if you can decide, in that very decision something within you crystallises. You will see it. Otherwise you will become bifurcated... you will become a schizophrenic: one part going this way, another part going that
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