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was looking for as a lover or wife -- but that he felt this was not good.]
A mother has to be loved in a totally different way. She is not your beloved -- and cannot be. If you become too much attached to your mother, you will not be able to find a beloved. And then deep down you will be angry with your mother -- because it is because of her that you couldn't move to another woman.
So it is part of growth that one has to move away from the parents. It is just as your being in the womb and then having to come out of it. That was leaving your mother, in a way. . . in a way, betraying her. But if inside the womb the child thinks that this will be a betrayal -- 'How can I leave my mother who has given birth to me?' -- then he will kill himself and the mother also. He has to come out of the womb.
First he is joined with the mother completely. . .then the cord has to be cut. He starts breathing on his own; that is the beginning of growth. He becomes an individual; he starts functioning separately. But for many years he will still remain dependent. For milk, food, shelter, love, he will depend on the mother; he is helpless.
But as he becomes stronger, he will start moving further and further away. Then milk will stop, and then he will have to depend on some other food. Now he is going even further away.
Then one day he has to go to school, has to make friends. And when he becomes a young man, he falls in love with a woman and completely forgets the mother in a way, because this new woman overwhelms him, overpowers him.
If it doesn't happen, then something has gone wrong. If the mother tries to cling to you she is not fulfilling her duty as a mother. It is a very delicate duty. A mother has to help you go away -- that's the delicacy of it. A mother has to make you strong so that you can go away from her. That's her love. Then she is fulfilling her duty. If you cling to the mother, then too you are doing wrong. Then it is going against nature.
It is as if a river starts flowing upstream... then everything will be topsy-turvy.
The mother is your source. If you start floating towards the mother, you are going upstream.
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