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but so far away... almost as if they are not. That is one extreme, one polarity of energy. There it becomes a seed. That is the seed time... one conserves. Returning to the source. One turns into oneself... turning in. Enjoy it.
That has been the goal for ages. For centuries all the religions have been trying to do it, but they missed because they were afraid of flow. They thought flow was a leakage. Now the opposite thing has become the fashion of the day. People think to be in is frozen. To be in and not flowing is condemned. People say you are closed. No.
When the energy is moving in, on its own, you are not closed. It is night time and one needs rest. One cannot sit in the marketplace the whole day, twenty-four hours. One closes one's doors, puts off the light and goes to bed. After the day's hard work one needs that. You have been in much turmoil -- the relationship and the whole turmoil of it -- so you need rest. It is rest. Don't use wrong words for it. Don't say 'I'm closed', because the moment you say 'I'm closed', you have already started a contradiction. You would like to be open. Don't say 'I am holding'. You are not holding; the energy is moving in. It is becoming a seed. When the right season comes, it will sprout and will become a tree again.
If you make a contradiction right now and try to bring yourself out.... You can bring with hard effort, but that is a sheer wastage and you will create great trouble for the future because you have been half-way, and the centre will miss energy. The centre will be pulling you in and you will be pulling out. Who are you to go against the energy? It is just an idea.
Always follow the energy. Trust energy. That's what I mean when I say trust. Trust God means trust energy, trust vitality, trust life. Wherever it leads, go... with a deep trust in your heart. It is leading you to the right thing. Don't make your own judgements.
Soon you will be flowing. Then again remember, because when you start flowing, you will feel that you are missing that silence, that inward peace and stillness. Then you will become afraid of the flow. You will talk of leakage and say 'I am wasting my energy
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