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you will be offended by your being; will be hurt by you in certain ways. You cannot help it; you are a wound. Your pus is overflowing to other people in your relationship. The wound is going to stink.
So it becomes a vicious circle: when you have a wound, you absorb more negativity. Then the wound becomes bigger and bigger and bigger.
So start relaxing the stomach and breathing by the belly. Make a practice of it. Lying down on the bed before you go to sleep, for three or four minutes breathe by the belly. In the morning when you awake, breathe by the belly. Just do it whenever you remember. Have more feeling for the belly.
In Japan they say: Think by the belly. Even thinking can be done by the belly -- then a man becomes perfectly relaxed. For centuries in Japan they had been thinking that the real thinking process was in the belly, not in the head -- and they are right. There is a different quality of thinking which goes on in the belly... it is intuitive; what you call a hunch.
Women think more from the belly than men. Man goes on groping in the dark with logic. Women simply jump to conclusions without any process in between. That's the problem -- man cannot understand how women come to their conclusions. And almost always they are right -- illogical, but right. They live on hunches. And of course they have a more empty belly than man. They have a womb inside, and they have more space inside.
So try breathing by the belly, and then tell me, mm?
[The other primal leader says it was: Difficult at first, but eventually I just allowed myself to show my fears and expose my motives and let go of the veneer that I carry of being the professional therapist. I still feel it's there inside me but, for the first time, in this group I was able to let go of that for periods.]
That has been a good experience.
One day or other, one has to forget all that includes what you call the professional attitude. The technical part of it is needed, but one should not be controlled by it. Use it, but never be just the professional, otherwise you become inhuman. And then difficulties arise.
Difficulties arise because you lose
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