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excitement. If you hanker for excitement then love will never settle. You will go on changing lovers, because only the first part of the affair is beautiful. And if you go on changing you have more first parts, and whenever the second part starts, you escape. That's what is happening in the West.
You eat just the cookie -- but that is not nourishment. By and by if that becomes a habit, your whole being will be destroyed by it; it will destroy the whole appetite. One day or other, one has to come down from the flight, walk on the earth, be rooted in the earth, and let reality be there. We can have dreams sometimes, but one has to live with reality.
So this point is coming. And [the boyfriend is right not to take any decision; there is no need -- just watch the process. In fact the very witnessing of the process will give you a very very deep integrity. It will be more difficult for you because women are more emotional. Watching is more difficult for them. They cannot get aloof from themselves; they cannot make that distance. But if you can make it -- and it can be made -- the integrity that comes to a woman is deeper than when it comes to a man, because a woman is more earth-rooted. Once you spread your roots into the earth, a woman attains to a better balance than any man can ever attain.
Man is a wanderer. If you create too much trouble, it is very easy for a man to escape from you. In fact he will be thankful to you that you created so much trouble that he escaped; you created the situation and forced him to escape! Man is a wanderer; he would like to move to another woman.
So be a little more alert. If you feel like crying, weeping, cry and weep, but cry and weep alone; no need to burden him. He has not done any wrong to you, so why make him miserable? Let him face his own reality, and you face your own. Everybody has to come to encounter himself, and nobody can be there -- not even your lover. You have to be alone.
So just a little more awareness will be needed. Love alone cannot last long. Love plus awareness can become an eternal phenomenon... something so deep that even death cannot destroy it. But then you have to pass
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