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So the better course is to accept it, to enter it courageously... to live it. And once you enter courageously, loneliness disappears, and a totally different quality -- which I call aloneness -- enters into your being.
And aloneness is simply beautiful, because nobody is there, not even you. Just pure being is there -- with no boundaries, no names, no adjectives. Not a man nor a woman... nobody is there. It is pure space. And everybody needs to go and dip into it. That refreshes you, rejuvenates you.
That is why sleep is so essential, because in sleep, deep sleep, when dreams are not there, you touch your innermost core of aloneness. In that moment of deep sleep, who is there? No lover, no friend, no relative -- not even you. There is nobody. That sleep gives you vitality, and in the morning you are fresh; again young, again alive, again full of energy to overflow and share. If for a few days you don't sleep well, your whole life seems to be exhausted; from the very morning you are tired. That aloneness is the very source of health and wholeness. If you can move into it consciously, then it becomes samadhi -- the same sleep.
As far as I see, it is good that you have come to this point where you feel so miserable. That's the point where you can take a jump.
Understanding arises only in deep pain. When we are comfortable and everything is going conveniently, and as your mind would like it to go, then there is no need to awake. Then people simply vegetate. These hard facts of life make you mature.
This is just a simple understanding -- it is not a theory. Everybody comes alone, lives alone, goes alone. All else is just a game. Once you understand it... I am not saying to drop relationships... I am saying that once you understand it, you relate on a different level. You relate happily. You relate without any dependence. You relate like an individual. You love then, too, but that love is very very different. It is no more a need. You can be alone and enjoy it, but still you want to share with people. Not that you cannot be alone.
If you cannot be alone and then you relate, your relationship can never be very deep and authentic,
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