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brought up, everybody is telling him what to do, what not to do -- as if he is nobody. He is a small, tiny weakling in the world of giants, and everybody is trying to manipulate him. Deep inside he goes on saying 'No, No, No!' On the outside he has to say 'Yes, yes, yes'. He becomes a hypocrite.
So try this method each night for sixty minutes. For forty minutes, just become negative -- as negative as you can. Close the doors, put pillows around the room. Unhook the phone, and tell everybody that you are not to be disturbed for one hour. Put a notice on the door saying that for one hour you should be left totally alone. Make things as dim as possible. Put on some gloomy music, and feel dead. Sit there and feel negative. Repeat 'No' as a mantra (laughter).
Imagine scenes of the past -- when you were very very dull and dead, and you wanted to commit suicide, and there was no zest to life -- and exaggerate them. Create the whole situation around you. Your mind will distract you. It will say, 'What are you doing? The night is so beautiful, and the moon is full!' Don't listen to the mind. Tell it that it can come later on, but that this time you are devoting completely to negativity. Be religiously negative, mm? Cry, weep, shout, scream, swear -- whatsoever you feel like, but remember one thing -- don't become happy (laughter). Don't allow any happiness. If you catch yourself, immediately give yourself a slap! Bring yourself back to negativity, and start beating the pillows, fighting with them, jumping. Be nasty! And you will find it very very difficult to be negative for these forty minutes.
This is one of the basic laws of the mind -- that whatsoever you do consciously, you cannot do. But do it -- and when you do it consciously, you will feel a separation. You are doing it but still you are a witness; you are not lost in it. A distance arises, and that distance is tremendously beautiful. But I am not saying to create that distance. That is a by-product -- you need not worry about it. After forty minutes suddenly jump out of the negativity.
Throw the pillows away, put on the lights, put on some beautiful music, and have a dance for twenty
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