| |
your nightmares, your good things, your bad, your days and your nights -- all are involved in this 'I'. This balloon of the ego has everything that you have. When the balloon expands, they all expand.
Let them expand. The balloon will get thinner and thinner and thinner, and a moment... a sudden explosion... and all is gone -- balloon and all. Then you are left -- you as you are without the 'I. Pure space... almost non-being.
Wait, and go on. Don't be afraid, mm? Good.
[Another sannyasin says: I would like to ask you... I'm requesting about being killed.]
Mm mm. That I will do... don't request it! (a chuckle)
That I will do without request (laughter). Don't be worried about it. That's the only thing I know how to do, mm? (more laughter)
[A visitor who participated in the group says: I think it was very good for me. I felt uncomfortable at times, but I was very pleased and happy afterwards.]
Discomfort is natural. Anything that can be of any help is also uncomfortable. Each growth is uncomfortable. Only death is comfortable... life is uncomfortable.
So one should learn how to put oneself again and again into the new and novel, into discomforts, mm? That keeps one open and growing and fluid.
Do a few more groups... it will be good, mm? Because they are more uncomfortable. Tao is the most comfortable (laughter). Do Tathata or Aum... do something really uncomfortable !
[Another member of the group said he had a query about meditation and trying to watch thoughts. He said he tried to watch, but that it became repetitive -- 'watching the watching, like a mirrored cabinet'.]
Do one thing -- don't strain too much in watching. If you do, it can become like a mirror-cabinet, and you can go almost crazy, mm? First you are watching your thoughts. Then you can slip out and watch your watching. Then you can slip out again and watch your watching... and this can go on and on.
You can never watch yourself. You are the watcher -- so whatsoever you watch is something which is not you. You are always standing further away. Your reality can never be objectified. You cannot see yourself -- because who
|
|
|