| |
so there is no need to make any conscious decision whether to be hetero or homo. Whatsoever happens, allow it... no judgement. And this will be helpful because soon you will be able to transcend.
I don't see much of a clinging with sexuality. The energy is coming up so beautifully that soon you will become asexual. Closeness will be needed, but that is not a problem. With whomsoever you feel friendship, you have it. But this much remember, don't make any decision for homo or hetero. If a man comes by and you feel good, good. Feeling good is good, mm? And flowing is good. And soon you will have the understanding when bodily sex will become almost meaningless, so don't be afraid of that either. That is one of the most beautiful states.
I'm not against sex, but there is a point of transcendence. And that point of transcendence is what is really meant in old religions by celibacy, brahmacharya. It is not a repression, it is not a suppression of sex energy; rather, you have gone beyond it. And the energy is going so high that it is difficult to bring it to the biological level. But that is not to be worried about... you simply float naturally.
[A sannyasin says: I was a christian missionary and in some ways it was very very good.... But in other ways it really crushed my personality... I've been loosening up a lot and am able to get into deeper relationships with men but I'm still very very tense with women.]
That will go. Because to be a christian missionary... is to be in a great trouble (laughter).lt makes the mind very narrow, very repressed. And even if you get out of it, it is not so easy to get out, because it continues like a shadow. It becomes part of your blood and bones... the conditioning goes very deep. Sometimes you can even move exactly to the opposite, but still the conditioning goes on influencing you. You can react, but in your reaction also, the conditioning will go on controlling you in subtle ways.
Just one thing -- it will be good if you mix with women, make friends with women, and don't get too friendly with men because that will be an avoidance. All these religions have, in a certain way, homosexual tendencies...
|
|
|