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is wrong in it. That's how things are; you are understanding them rightly. But there is no way of going back. If there were only fear and no love, I would have told you to go back, because then there is unnecessary trouble; why take the risk? But if love is there then there is no going back. Love knows no going back. It moves ahead; in spite of all difficulties it moves ahead. It is never repentant. And whatsoever happens is good because love is good. Fear will lurk only on the boundaries. Deep in the heart will be love; just on the periphery fear will lurk. If I see fear in somebody's very core then I help him to go, because he will be unnecessarily living in torture. It will be a kind of masochism for him to be here.
I am here to help you towards transformation: I am not here just to become a torture to you; torture is not a value. But I am not saying that in transformation there is no pain. Pain in itself is of no value, but when pain serves transformation it has great value. So at the core of your heart is love; just on the periphery is a lurking fear. That is very natural; accept that too.
[A sannyasin says he never knows what to do with his anger. He has done many groups, but it still comes up.]
And do you think it is always anger or does something else hide behind it?...
It is not really anger. Only on the surface does it look like anger. Deep in your being you are so full of energy that you don't know what to do with it; that's why it takes the form of anger. You have great creative potential. It is creative energy which is not being rightly used; it becomes sour.
So you cannot change it by doing anything with anger. You can do Encounter and you can go into anger and you may enjoy it a little bit, a little release will come, but within days it will be gone and you will be the same again. If it were just anger then Encounter would have helped you immensely. It appears like anger; it is not. Anger is a negative energy and you are suffering with positive energy.
When you don't know what to do with it you become angry; then you find excuses, any excuse will do. Those excuses are not very important either but you have
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