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fear can create a problem. If you start holding your energy then you will create a contradiction in your being. If you become too afraid of your energy and you think that something is wrong with it, naturally you will hold it. By holding it, you will become two: the holder and the held. That is where schizophrenia starts, and that is the root cause of all pathology.
Don't create that division in yourself. You are energy; don't call it names, don't call it spasmodic or something like a perversion, crazy. Don't call it names, don't abuse it. It is you, you are not separate from this energy. So enjoy the dance while it lasts and to the last moment, drink of life!
[The sannyasin, who heads the group of five doctors/therapists who form the ashram's medical team, says: It's growing but sometimes I have doubt in my ability.]
No, no, there is nothing to be worried about. People always continue to have doubts. They go only by and by; the more you practise a certain thing, the more confident you become. But nobody ever becomes absolutely confident because life is such a mystery, one can always err. So one can never become absolutely confident unless one does not bother about anything -- like me. Then you can become absolutely confident because then there is no problem. If you are not trying to prove anything you can be absolutely confident. Then if something goes wrong, something goes wrong, one iS not repentant for it; that's what was going to happen. But if you are thinking that nothing should go wrong, then the doubt, because something can always go wrong. Man's capacities are limited and life is unlimited, so that fear always remains.
But the more you practise a certain thing, whatsoever it is -- music, medicine, magic, whatsoever it is -- the more you practise, the more confident you become, because the more you see that no, things don't go wrong so easily! It is just like learning to drive: first one is very unconfident and very doubtful and it seems almost impossible to imagine how people drive. It is so difficult to do, there are so many things one has to do, to think of: the accelerator, the brake, the clutch, the wheel, the road and then
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