| |
that is felt at the throat is the fear of communication. It will be difficult for you now to communicate with people. When the fear is felt at the stomach it is fear of death.
If you go deep in meditation, the fear of death arises and that is felt just below the navel centre, at the hara, the death centre. If you are going to communicate, the fear will be felt at the throat because the throat is the centre of expression, communication, relating. When fear arises in relationship to love, it is at the throat, because the child receives love for the first time from the mother through the throat centre. That is his first contact with the world. Mother's breast is his first contact, first relationship, and that is through the throat centre. That's why Freudians call small children 'oral'. That is the oral state of their mind. Whenever you are getting something or giving something, it passes through the throat centre.
So I can understand... the fear is natural. Don't try to avoid it and don't try to suppress it. Don't try to forget it, otherwise it will be difficult to get over it. Accept it -- it is natural. It is absolutely natural going back to old friends and not being the old person at all. Your friends will be very much in confusion about how to relate to you, because we get accustomed to a certain pattern.
Whenever a person starts meditating, his world of relationships has to be changed. One person changes, then all his relationships -- with the wife, children, friends, even enemies -- have to change. He comes to a shattering. He enters into the world again with a new identity.
When you are here as a sannyasin it is one thing. You can relate with people. You live in a commune of souls who are following the same path, moving in the same direction, living in the same vibe. But when you go back, the fear will come. It is good in a way.
Once you are back, the fear will be there for not more than a week. So don't hide. In that one week meet all the friends and persons to whom you have related in the past, and don't try to pretend to be the old self. Within a week it will disappear because you will be able to relate better than ever.
You
|
|
|