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will continue at least one meditation, you will wear orange. Whatsoever happens, whatsoever doubts come, for six months you are not going to listen to the doubts. Let them come -- you will stick to your decision. If you can do that you will come out of these six months in a totally different way. Your quality will be more stabilised, crystallised.
Sometimes very small decisions help, very small decisions. The whole thing is just to carry them, because they give you an integration. If you don't carry them, they are very dangerous because they will create more unconfidence.
That's why I insist for a certain dress, a mala. It has nothing to do with spirituality. It has something to do with you as you are. It is just something for you so you can remain in a continuity. Moving in ochre in the West will create trouble. People will look at you. You will look strange, odd, and that will make you alert and aware. You can use that situation.
You will not be lost in the mob, and when people become alert about you, you also become alert. Immediately something inside you clicks. People are looking at you -- you walk differently, you sit differently. You become more attentive because people are watching you.
So these six months will be hard, but once you can pass through them you will become completely transformed. ,If you cannot make a decision, then it is better that you leave sannyas. Make that decision. You understand me? Because if you go back and then you leave sannyas, that will be very shattering to your centring -- very much shattering.
If you go back and your doubt possesses you and you leave sannyas, you don't meditate, and you don't use orange, that will be more shattering, more destructive, because then you will lose all confidence that you may have in yourself. It is better that you go as a non-sannyasin so that you don't carry anything fragile which can be broken. If you are carrying it and it is fragile, and you are going into a very contrary world, then be alert. If you can carry it for only six months, you will come out of it very new, with clarity and trust.
[Another sannyasin says: I feel very shaky in the knees and
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