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her; I have hit her. I have to apologize."
People in the university thought that he was mad -- a man who asks forgiveness from a chair in this world cannot be thought to be sane. I have watched him closely; he was one of the sanest persons. But his responsibility was tremendous.
He could not say to me... it was his house. He could have said to me, "You can read silently" or, "You can read at some other time" or, "You can read while I am playing my instrument." But that he would not do. It would have been easy -- that's what everybody else is doing in the world. But his sensitivity and deep respect for the other person... even his reverence for things was impeccable.
People have looked at his behavior and have thought, "He is not in the right state of mind." But nobody bothered to think that the right state of mind makes people responsible, so responsible that they start looking -- to others -- mad.
For example, Mahavira slept his whole life only on one side. He would not change his side in the night. Asked why, he said -- because he was living naked, having nothing, lying down on the bare floor.... If he changes his side, some ant, some small insects may be crushed by his turning, and he will not do such a thing. His responsibility towards very small things simply shows his integrity with existence.
His way of begging will explain to you what I mean. Nowhere else in the world has anybody done such a thing -- so much trust for existence! In the morning, after his meditations, he would visualize in what condition he was going to accept today's food. And sometimes it happened that thirty days would pass and he would not be able to receive food because what he has visualized, a particular condition, was not fulfilled. Strange things....
For example, he thinks that he will accept food if a woman at the house where he stands begging comes out of the house with her baby still sucking milk from her breast. Then only will he accept food from that woman; otherwise that day is gone. Then next day he will try again.
His people persistently said to him, "This is strange! There have been great ascetics... you can fast as much as
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