| |
that because of this child you are feeling inadequate, and you will take revenge. Because of this child you are suffering... this child is creating guilt in you. So whom are you going to take revenge with? -- with the child.
One thing -- you have become aware that you are not to do the same things; good. Now become aware, that's all. And when you start doing some old pattern, relax -- don't do it! And this over-compensation -- that you have to love much, and you have to become the greatest mother in the world -- this nonsense has to be dropped, otherwise you will feel so false, and that you are falling short of your ideals. You must be having some ideal now. Your mother has not done that idealistic thing; now you have the ideal and you have to do it with the child... and all idealism is dangerous.
So be realistic. Don't create a fiction. You must be living in a fiction. Never live with a should. Live with the is -- that's all there is. Whatever is, is.
If you can give this much love, this much love you have. How can you do more? From where will you bring more? And if you become worried too much about more, you will not be able to even give that much which you could have easily, because from this worry, depression, anxiety, guilt will arise and you will start feeling in a very bad space -- and because of this child! If there were no child, there would be no problem. So the child will become a problem. Drop all this nonsense!
Simply be yourself. Whatsoever you do, do. More is not possible. Accept yourself! These shoulds are all condemnatory. This is how people move from one extreme to another.
The older generation used to think, the mothers used to think, that they were making great sacrifices for their children. They were always exhibiting that they were doing this and that. That was harmful, because love should not be a duty, and it should not be talked about. You love because you feel happy. You are not doing anything to the child; you are doing something because you love to do it. The child is not obliged to you, he is not to pay you back. You love to be a mother, and you should be grateful to the child.
But the older
|
|
|