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into it... it is sickening. It is better to keep the bandage on and put flowers on top of it and be happy. But that is not going to help. The wound is there... it will become more cancerous.
So if you are really interested in getting rid of something in your being, facing it is the only way there is. Look into it -- look into it courageously. Suffer the pain of looking into it, and your look will make you a different person. You can escape and avoid, but but it will not go.
For a few days you can take a rest; then you will become ready. When the desire to do a group comes again, enquire. But wait for the desire... it will come. Don't be worried.
[A group member says: I hesitate to express myself in front of other people. I'm afraid of the reaction of the other people, and it's quite hard for me to push through the wall of that fear. When I get through it, afterwards I feel very happy -- but it is always a struggle.]
It will go -- that's the beginning part. If you really feel happy afterwards, how long can you resist the temptation? That happiness is waiting for you beyond the wall, so you have to go through the wall. After a few times you will see that nobody is in any way worried about you -- what you are doing and what you are expressing... not at least in my ashram. Everybody here is so mad -- nobody will take any notice. You can be completely at ease. In the next group simply relax, and just watch. You will be surprised -- nobody is reacting.
That is the whole point -- to create a community of people who are of alike minds. That's what I am creating -- a small world of alike people. So they accept you, mm? They give you freedom to be yourself. If you cannot relax here with my sannyasins, where else will you be able to relax? Then this world is too hard for you!
Here everybody is accepting you. Even if you do some nonsense thing, they will enjoy it -- they will not react. In fact they will start participating with you because they are also waiting; they were afraid of your reaction. Now they say, 'This man too, is mad.' Now there is no fear.
In the next group you do, simply behave as if you are alone. And just
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