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is the greatest project of the ego -- to know.
Once you decide that there is no need to know, then there is no worry. And in fact there is no possibility of knowing. Mystery is the intrinsic nature of things. They cannot be known. All knowledge is illusion.
[The sannyasin says: In the West... I have worked with the sufis... with Ilayat Khan.]
That's very good. So you have been in right hands! That's very good.
[A visitor says: I do not feel very much surrendered to everything and... I'm searching.]
There is no need to feel surrendered -- there is no need. How can you feel surrendered? When it comes, it comes. There is no way to bring it. You cannot manage. It is something beyond you.
The surrender that you can do is useless, of no value, because if you do it, you remain the doer, and any moment you can undo it. You remain in control. So I am not interested in any surrender that you can do. Just be here, meditate, do a few groups, dance, feel me -- just be in my presence -- and one day it happens. When it happens it is like madness. It is not that you do it. How can you manage to be mad? Just think of it.
If you try to be mad, you will not be mad. You can pretend, you can act, but deep down, you will know that you are not mad. Surrender happens exactly like that. It is a madness. It is going berserk. It is very crazy! It is beautiful! But it has nothing to do with you, your mind, your reason. It is more like infection....
Just be here, mm ? With these many orange mad people you may get infected. If you are searching and if you are open, it is going to happen -- you cannot avoid long. Just remain available, so when it knocks at your door, it finds that you are ready to welcome, that's all.
And don't start thinking that you are not surrendered -- not very much surrendered -- because that creates a guilt! Then you feel that so many people surrendered and so many things happening, why are you not surrendered? How are you to surrender?
[She replies: I have a hard time with the difference between the ashram and outside. People on the street -- they seem to me like being in hell and people here are lying
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