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god. Love the child, and whatsoever you can do, do. But that doing should not become such a deliberate act as you are trying to do. Simply love! You are a human being with all the flaws and limitations of a human being, and now what can you do?
The child has chosen you to be her mother -- it is not just your responsibility. The child is also responsible. She must have some karmas to be born to you, otherwise why? She could have chosen.... There are so many women always ready to receive. She has particularly chosen you, so not only are you responsible -- she is also responsible.
Now just be natural and be happy! Whatsoever happens out of happiness is good. And whatsoever creates misery in you, drop all that nonsense. Now you have become so miserable. Rather than being happy that you are a mother and a child is there, you are becoming miserable. Your misery will certainly be reflected in the child. The child by and by will become aware that her mother is miserable because of her. Your guilt will be reflected, and you will create a complex in the child.
Forget about it! Dance with the child, love the child, hug the child... and be natural! Don't listen to the pundits and the experts -- just be natural! Don't you see all the animals? Nobody teaches them how to be a good parent; there exists nothing like transactional analysis -- and they are good parents. Who bothers? Only man is very difficult.
There have been societies where the child has not to be hugged, because that destroys the child. Too much hugging makes him sissy and limp, spineless. He should be strong from the very beginning, he should be forced to stand on his own feet. And there are societies which say to hug the child, otherwise he will miss the human warmth and he will never be able to love anybody.
Now what to do? In the morning, hug, and in the evening, discipline? What to do? How to divide? One hour hugging, one hour discipline? But then the child will be confused. And he will become very suspicious of the mother -- that she seems to be schizophrenic: one hour she is just sweet, another hour she becomes such a great disciplinarian. The child will become very worried
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