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I have to take risks, I know I have to try new things but... ]
If it comes -- this urge to try new things, to venture into new styles of being, to go on a journey of the unknown -- then follow it! Nobody is forcing anything on anybody. Even when people force things on you, you allow them to. That too is your thing, finally -- otherwise how can anybody impose anything on you? You cooperate, and then you throw the responsibility on the other.
Whatsoever has happened, you have done it. Even if others were saying for you to do it and you followed them, it was you who followed them. You could have disobeyed, there was always the alternative to go against them, but you decided not to go against them. Once you understand this -- that whatsoever you do is your responsibility -- then you will feel more at ease with life. Otherwise you feel that somebody is pulling, pushing -- parents, the society, this and that -- and that somebody is putting a 'should' on you. Nobody is putting a 'should' on you -- nobody can.
Just do whatsoever you like. If you like to follow them, follow, but never say that they were forcing you. Nobody can force you. Take the risk of not following them then. There are both alternatives. Both are risky.
In life everything is a risk -- even to breathe is a risk: you may be breathing in some virus. To be alive is risky, to drink water is risky, to eat is risky, to love is risky. Everything is a risk. Not to do anything is also a risk because then what is the point of being here? You are committing suicide.
So one thing has to be understood: everything is a risk. Now it is a question of your choice, your liking. When somebody is saying to do this, both alternatives are open -- to do it or not to do it. If you don't do it, you will be losing something and you will be gaining something. If you do it, you will be gaining something and you will be losing something. So decide -- but never say that anybody has forced anything on you. Nobody can. It is not in the nature of things.
Do whatsoever you feel like doing. If you feel that you have to go on an adventure, then go. If you feel that you want to remain a sannyasi,
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