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is such a beautiful thing that one should never leave it -- it is a sort of meditation. So rather than leaving it, go deeper into it. I will help you to go deeper into it. I can understand where the problem is. The problem is not in the music; the problem is in being a performer.
... that performance is the problem. There are a few things which cannot really be performed. If they are deep in you, you cannot do those things before others unless a very sympathetic, loving audience is available -- which is not. Doing a concert before the public is like making love on the street. It is so intimate, and one feels embarrassed to bring that soft heart to such a public gaze.
... The deeper you go in meditation, the more the quality of your music will change. Your capacity will change; you will feel more rooted in it. So right now, meditate here, do a few groups. We have a music group here also, so participate in it. And it is not a performance; it is a meditation.
(to radha) And one day she has to come and play here, just whatsoever she wants, so that I can feel where she is. And playing here before me, (to sahajo) forget yourself completely. For half an hour you just go as deep as you can so that I can feel where the block is and then things can be done.
[A sannyasin says he practiced the mantra 'I am not afraid' until his fear disappeared. Then he felt very fragile and shakey: I have been crying a lot.]
Enjoy crying...
Tears are one of the most beautiful things in the world, so enjoy them and remain fragile, because if you are fragile then you are available to god. You are soft, you are porous. You function like a sponge and god is soaked in. When you are hard, nothing enters -- and we have been taught to be hard so that nothing enters. The hardness is part of our defense. We are afraid: that's why we are hard. So when you start feeling not afraid, you become fragile.
It is fear that has made people like rocks -- very stiff, hard, non-vulnerable -- because they are afraid that somebody may enter, somebody's love, and some tenderness may surface. They have been taught not to allow anything to enter, because if something
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