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speaking is not there in me.
This is the difference between a writer and one who is enlightened. The litterateur has a sort of interest in just expressing something. He is pleased if he can do so. A big burden seems to drop from his shoulders when he does so.
In me there is no such burden. When I am speaking to you I am not receiving pleasure just because I am telling you something. In telling something, there is no feeling of being relieved of a burden. My telling, in a sense, is less an expression and more a response.
There is no feeling in me that I have to tell you something. If you want to know something, only then will it occur to me to say something. The condition of my mind is such that if you throw a bucket in my well something will emerge from it. It is gradually becoming difficult for me to speak unless a question has been asked. In the future, it is going to be more and more difficult for me just to speak. Therefore, I have to find excuses.
I need an excuse if I am to speak on the Gita. If you create such an excuse, then I will speak. But it is becoming difficult for me to speak if you do not provide the excuse. If there is no nail or peg on which to hang something, on what to hang it and why I should hang it is a problem. I remain silent -- empty. You go out of this room and I become empty.
If someone has the desire to speak, the need to speak, then he will make himself ready to speak even when you are not in the room. His mind will prepare what to say even though there is no one present. When enough material accumulates in him, he will be impelled to speak.
For me this is not true. I am completely empty. If you raise a question and make me speak, only then will I speak. That is why writing is difficult. Writing is easier for those who are full.
Question 4
WHY DO YOU NOT WRITE YOUR AUTOBIOGRAPHY?
This can also be asked -- why I do not write my autobiography. It may seem very interesting, but truly speaking after self-knowledge there is no autobiography. All autobiographies are ego-biographies. What we call an autobiography is not the story of the soul. As long as you do not know what soul
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