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Main Index
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he has forgotten the rich man's address. So he gives the note to the boy, and tells him to take it to his dad.
The boy does, and when he comes back with the money, he is carrying a note from his father.
It reads: "Here, take the filthy money, you rat. It's guys like you that give us Polacks a bad name!"
After a wild Saturday night of partying, Swami Deva Coconut is hauled off to a Sunday morning Mass by his Catholic girlfriend, Beverly. Since he is totally ignorant of the various rituals involved, Beverly is constantly coaching him.
"Bless yourself," she whispers. "Now kneel down -- sit down -- stand up -- sit down again -- cross yourself ..." -- and so on.
Perspiring from all this activity, Coconut takes out a handkerchief from his pocket to wipe his face. Then he lays it on his lap to dry.
Seeing this, Beverly leans over and whispers, "Is your zipper open?"
"No," replies Coconut hastily, "should it be?"
Donald Dickstein walks into an optician's office, carrying a cardboard box. He hands it to the optician who opens it and exclaims, "Wow! That's the biggest turd I've ever seen!"
"Isn't it a beauty?" says Donald. "I did it myself."
The optician is very impressed and says, "It must be at least two feet long."
"Twenty-five and a half inches, to be exact," boasts Donald. "And three inches in diameter."
"Incredible," says the optician. "How much does it weigh?"
"Two and a half pounds," is the proud reply.
"That is simply amazing!" exclaims the optician, unable to take his eyes off the magnificent specimen. "But why bring it to me? I'm an optician."
"Well, you see," says Donald, "I have this problem. Every time I do one of these monsters, my eyes water!"
Now, Nivedano, do a real good job because skinhead Niskriya is back ....
Nivedano ...
(Drumbeat)
(Gibberish)
Nivedano ...
(Drumbeat)
Be silent ...
Close your eyes ...
No movement of the body.
Let your whole consciousness gather inwards.
Deeper and deeper ...
You are entering into your buddhahood.
Without any fear go in, it is
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