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anybody to put you on high, otherwise he will manipulate you. He will say, 'I have made you so high -- now you have to follow me. Don't do this; that doesn't suit you. Don't do that; that is below you. Keep your status.'
So you enjoy the status but then you feel petrified. You would like to be an alive human being. So you are trying to do two contradictory things. If you want to be a fully warm-blooded woman, a real woman, then get down from the pedestal. All pedestals are a kind of disease I call 'pedestalitis'.
Get down and tell [him] that you are not going to become a goddess. Be natural and true and whatsoever happens has to be accepted. If he leaves you, that's his business. If he remains with you, you will be more free; he will be more free. And this will be helping him too... because he is also wrong. He will never be happy. First you put a woman on a pedestal; then you cannot make love to her. How can you make love to a goddess? -- it looks ugly. You cannot make love to your mother and you have put her up as a mother, a mother superior. Then you cannot make love to her, or even if you do, you feel guilt. He will not be happy, because he will continuously suffer from inferiority; he has made you superior.
Tell him 'I am just an ordinary woman. I don't want any other respect.' That is the greatest respect we can pay to each other as human beings! That will help. And if some complexity arises, both come together, mm? Good!
[A sannyasin says that after she has done groups she slips back into her old space. Osho reminds her that the group can give you a new perspective, a new attitude towards things. It's up to you to discover which attitudes are helpful and to adopt them as guidelines in your life.... ]
For example, in a group you don't feel jealous; then don't feel jealous while you are outside. In a group if there are twelve people you become so much one with the energy you are not separate. You lose yourself; you become part of the energy that is happening there. Then keep that in your awareness. While meditating become part of the whole meditator's group. While listening become part of all the people who are listening to
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