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will be a prejudice; it will disfigure and distract our mind from that which is. So it is better to go with a not-knowing mind. Something is going to happen, and if we are open we can make something out of it. When one is not ready for anything, much creativity is possible; one is innocent....
[A sannyasin says: Whenever I fall in love with someone I want to be like a baby. I lose contact with reality and I don't want to take responsibility; I want to become a child.... ]
Then there are only two ways; either you find somebody who wants to become a father and is not interested in being a lover... Sometimes it happens that the man is not interested in being a lover or a husband -- he is interested in being a father figure. Then you will fit perfectly well with each other; otherwise there will be misery.
The other way and really the only way is that you pass through a few groups -- primal, rebirthing... because that simply shows something that is hanging from your childhood. So you cannot grow from there, and whenever there is a love space, you relax in it and immediately go back to your childhood. Something is stuck there; it needs completion. So you can either find somebody who wants to be a father -- then you will fit with each other but the relationship will be ill.
There are many 'happy' marriages which are really pathological. They are happy in the sense that both are satisfied because both have a kind of pathology that fits with each other -- for example, a sadist and a masochist. Somebody who wants to torture somebody is a sadist and somebody who wants to be tortured is a masochist. Now, if a sadist and a masochist are married it will be one of the most happy marriages, because one wants to torture, that is his happiness -- another wants to be tortured; that is his or her happiness. They will fit like a glove and hand. Sometimes people think this is a very happy marriage; this is an ill marriage. They are both neurotic!
So out of one hundred marriages, ninety are miserable and nine are ill, but they look happy. There is rarely a marriage -- it is a very rare chance -- where the marriage is not ill, and happy. But that is possible
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