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you are walking unaware of the fact that you are walking -- and you can walk because you are accustomed to walk; there is no need to be alert about it -- then walking is generating unconsciousness, and that unconsciousness goes on accumulating in us. If many of our acts are unconscious, then we are carrying a load of unconsciousness. That is heavy on our chest; that is the only block there is. When you start turning your consciousness on to the unconscious mechanism, you are transforming the energy. It is an alchemical process -- the process of how lead is turned into gold. Just by being conscious of it, lead starts turning into gold. It is a magic, and it works like magic. You have to use -- mechanism has to be used -- but consciously. Try it, -- for one month try as much consciousness as possible, and you will be surprised, mm? Good!
[A sannyasin had written to Osho to say he had doubts about wearing a mala and 'uniform'. He is returning to the West and will return next year for a longer time. He feels he has not been here long enough to change this time.]
Mm mm... that's what my feeling is too -- not only that you have not been here long enough, you have not been at all!...
This time you missed me. So, whenever you can come, give it one try again! I have to be truthful with you -- you completely missed me. Otherwise even these few days would have been meaningful.
You are too much in your head... and I behead people but I go very politely! I was thinking to behead you, but there was not enough time. I don't jump very suddenly because sometimes people can escape, mm? And that was the fear with you: you were continuously ready to escape and you were just lurking on the boundary, not coming close to me.
So one year will be a long time there. Continue to meditate. If you can do a few groups there, do.
Wherever my orange people meet, something of me is present there. And it may be easier for you to connect with my people than with me because you will be less afraid of them, right?...
But next time you will not be able to miss. Many people miss for the first time. You can only come to know that you have missed when you
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