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their male chauvinistic ego feels more hurt: 'My woman making love to somebody else?' They start feeling as if they are not man enough. But then that is his problem. First make it clear that you are to follow a certain standard. When two persons decide to live together, then a certain rule of conduct has to be evolved. When you are alone there is no question of any rule of conduct. Just have a rule of the game, but it will be applicable to both the parties.
So whatsoever decision comes... either he decides not to go with others -- it's okay -- or if he decides that he would still like his freedom, then you are freed. Then don't be cowardly; start moving! There are beautiful people; why be confined to one? Each person can contribute something which nobody else can. Each person has such a uniqueness. Why not love many people and enrich your love ? In fact this is not against the man you love. My own observation is that if you love many many people you will be loving your lover more also -- this is a simple arithmetic -- because you will become more skillful in love. You will have many aspects of love available to your knowing. You will become more enriched and ripe, mature.
And this clinging to one person is a kind of immaturity. Why should one cling? Love is beautiful and love is divine, and all are the forms of god, so why get obsessed with one form when the form is not obsessed with you? If both are obsessed with each other, it is okay.
This is an old idea which is not scientifically true, that if the man goes and has a little affair with a woman sometimes, then his own woman will suffer; she will not get as much love as was hers. That is wrong. She will not suffer, she will get more.
And soon, seeing other women, meeting other women, again and again the realisation comes: 'What is the point? My own woman can give all this, and in a far more intimate way, with far more devotion, far more commitment. Why should I be moving like a beggar?' He will come home with a greater longing for you.
In fact, modern psychology suggests that if the marriage is to continue, a few side affairs are always good and helpful to keep the marriage running.
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