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alone, the idea will come, but don't be worried about it. Dance, sing when the idea comes, and then in six weeks it will be completely gone. But don't go on prolonging that habit. It is utterly useless, and not only bad for the body but bad for the spiritual growth -- and that is the real thing to be considered.
And whenever you feel that the desire is too much, you can ask for a darshan and just sit there and I will make you drunk!
[A sannyasin, who is leaving, says he doesn't know how to show his parents that he loves them... or anyone else. Osho checks his energy.]
You do one thing -- it is possible, more so, because now you are a new person: when you go back, make it a point that everybody feels that the old person is dead. You are a sannyasin now, with a new name, with a new identity, with a new vision and a new style of life. It is very difficult to change an old person -- that is kind of renovating an old building. It is easier to make a new building. If you were going just as you were of old, it would have been very difficult for you to bring about such a drastic change in your pattern.
You have never shown love. You have always been shy of showing love. You have always thought that showing love is a kind of weakness. You have been strong, hard, independent. Love makes you feel dependent, because love is a need. You have tried to live on your own, as if you don't need anybody, but that is utter nonsense. Even god needs the existence. He cannot be without it; he will be very poor without it. We are all interdependent. Existence is a kind of interdependence. Nobody is independent and nobody is dependent either.
But from your very childhood you must have got the idea that to show love is girlish, feminine -- one has to be a man, hard, strong, of steel. And you have managed. You are carrying an armour around you; you are always surrounded by a kind of China Wall; nobody can penetrate you. But then you will suffer, because you are imprisoned in your own idea of protection and safety, of independence.
Now it is possible to change. Just go and tell them that you have changed completely, you have dropped the old pattern.
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