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when you are aware, don't think about those moments which have gone without any awareness.
It will be created; it is not difficult. When it is created, one knows how foolish one was; it was so simple, it was so easy, it was so natural. But when it is created, then one knows. Before that it seems so difficult, but the difficulty is not with the process. The difficulty lies with our impatience. We are so impatient, we ask for everything without any preperation. We ask just here and now. Even... it can come just here and now, but that needs infinite patience. If you have infinite patience, then this very moment can become a moment of explosion. But our whole mind, our whole make-up of the mind is based on impatience. That impatience creates an inner barrier. Then, meditation should not become a part and parcel of our desire.
Because you cannot be meditative with a desiring mind. Because a desiring mind creates another current of desire against the current of awareness. Desire is part and parcel of unconscious mind. So if you desire too much, even if you desire for God, even if you desire for liberation, even if you desire for meditation, samadhi, this too will become a barrier. So don't desire. Just be curious to know, to know what is meditation. Don't make meditation to a means towards anything else. Meditation should be the end. We want to know the complete total silent mind. Why? Because we have known the [1 word unquick] mind, we have known the non-silent mind, we have known the mind with desire, we have known the mind with a longing and a clinging, and we have suffered for it. The suffering has been so much. We have known this and the suffering. Now we want to know the opposite mind and also to know what comes with it.
We do not know so we cannot desire, we do not know what will be the outcome of a silent mind. But we have known the non-silent mind, we have known the suffering that comes with it, the darkness, the dukhha, but we do not know what pleasure, what bliss will come with the mind when it becomes meditative, aware and silent. But we want just to know the opposite. We have suffered this much long, for so many lives. We want to know
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