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acting. You have to maintain it, Because inwardly you are quite the contrary. Inwardly you are laughing, and outwardly you are serious. So the seriousness has to be maintained. But if you are serious, then even when you laugh, the seriousness will be there; the laughing itself becomes serious. Then you are not that laughing. Then you have laughed with a totally serious mind and that laughter itself has become serious. Acting has to be maintained.
And you really asked an essential question, because in our lives we are maintaining everything. Every type of face needs maintenance, because (LAUGHING) the face is not real. The face is from the outside, you are something from within: deep double role. This double personality will need maintenance. and the maintenance will create conflict. This conflict deteriorates your whole mind.
Then you cannot be spontaneous, then you cannot be real, yourself. You are at every moment something else, something else, something else. This will kill you! This will become a burden. And that is why the whole of life has become a burden. Life is just a joy. But the whole becomes a burden because you have to maintain so many faces. In the morning you are one person, by the evening someone else. In one moment you are one person, in the second moment you are someone else. To me you are someone, to somebody else, you are someone else. Thousands of faces! -- and the maintenance, and the conflict. This becomes burdensome; this is the burden. This is the sorrow, this is the suffering.
If you are really yourself, you need not maintain anything because you are yourself. Then you go on, you live... there is no burden and living has become just play, hmm? What they call in India, leela. Then it becomes leela. Then it becomes play; you do not need to maintain it.
Maintenance is not the problem. How to attain it? Once attained, attained forever. You cannot lose it then. There are so many mysteries in life, and one of the mystery is that you cannot lose that which you have attained. You cannot lose it. You can never lose it; there is no possibility. It is impossible. What you lose, lose; but you have not attained it. It was
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