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will bring something new to you which has never happened, and you will never be bored.
The life of marriage, the life of all discipline, is the life of boredom -- monotonous. Monogamy is monotony. You have to repeat the same. You are not free to explore new ways of being. You are not free to see new things. You are not free to experience new beauty, new truth. If you are disciplined, what does it mean? It simply means now you have a particular standpoint, your eyes are no longer open. You are a Christian; then you have a discipline. You are a Hindu; then you have a discipline -- and a dogma, and your eyes are completely full of that dogma. Then you cannot see that which is.
I would like you to be totally uncontrolled. I would like you to be absolutely a chaos, with no order whatsoever.
And please don't misunderstand me. There is every possibility, because when I say something I have to use words, and words are very much corrupted -- corrupted by you, corrupted by usage, for centuries. When I say "chaos," you become afraid. But you don't know the beauty of chaos, and you don't know the spontaneous order of a chaos. You don't know the order that comes out of freedom. Not enforced by your mind, not by your past, but just by your being aware, alert, free, responsive, an order arises. I don't call it order, because it goes on changing every moment. I don't call it a discipline, because it has nothing to do with you. In the chaos you are no more, the ego has disappeared.
Who is going to discipline? The ego. The ego says become a better man, improve yourself: you are a sinner, become a saint; you are violent, become nonviolent; you are angry, become more loving. But who is going to do it, and who is this who is hankering for improvement? The ego wants a few more decorations, wants to become more respectable, wants to become more certain, wants to have a better grounding in the world, wants to feel more solid, wants to become somebody in particular, wants to become special.
No, my sannyas is not going to give you anything of this sort. I don't deal in dead things, that is not my business. My whole effort here is to give you a taste of
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