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have its time. You need it -- this is a very necessary gap, otherwise what happens is that one relationship is there and it ends. You start feeling lonely; you jump into another relationship. All the rubbish of the first goes on being carried into the second. There has never been a space to clean: one guest has left, another has come in the house, and you had no time to clean. And that is very bad -- it will destroy the other relationship That's how it goes on happening with people.
When you say good-bye to one relationship it takes a little time. It is not so easy to really say good-bye, mm? It goes slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly; slowly, slowly, again you become an individual.
When you are in a relationship you lose your individuality, you become part of a dyad. Then [you and your lover] are really one individual; that's the meaning of the couple. They suffer together, they are happy together; they are involved in every way with each other. They penetrate each other, they become members of each other. A few parts of his life will get into your parts, a few parts of your life will get into his parts. Mm? it is just as if you have one suitcase his clothes and your clothes are all in it together: everything is mixed up and in a mess.
When you get out of one relationship it is wiser to come out of it completely -- slowly, slowly, you again emerge as an individual, because all relationship is against individuality. Hence, for thousands of years, people have left the world of relationship and gone into loneliness, because all relationship is basically against the individual. The relationship encroaches on you, the other starts overlapping you, and then you don't know who you are. Everything becomes coloured with the other... even small things start becoming coloured with the other.
If you are sitting in a room and there is a chair and [your lover] used to sit on the chair, suddenly, [he] is there. [He] is no more there, just the chair, but [he] has got involved with the chair. You have always seen him sitting on the chair; that chair was special and he loved it very much. Now that chair is no ordinary chair; for you at least, it has a psychological
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