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the journey he is conscious of death now. That creates an uncertainty; tension grows within him and anxiety and anguish catch hold of him permanently -- and that turns the mind ugly.
Even death does not come to know the immortal hiding within the body. The only reason for this is that the phenomenon of looking inwards happens only when the looking outwards becomes futile and meaningless. Let this be understood properly. It seems to become meaningless many times, but it does not really become so. It is not that the meaninglessness does not dawn upon you, it does dawn upon you. You were thinking of buying a car and you have bought it. When you had not bought it, you were dreaming about it in the night. The night before the day of its delivery, you could not even sleep well -- the whole night!
Someone has written about his friend who purchased a very beautiful car, a Ferarri. It was a costly car. On the very first day he was driving it, the car was a little scratched.
That friend was not a child, he was a fifty-year-old man; and he was not an illiterate, he was a professor in a university -- and a professor of philosophy at that. But he was seen weeping that day, resting his head on his mother's shoulder. Just because the Ferarri got scratched! The car was costly. How much he must have dreamed about it. That scratching of the car must have entered deep into him, to his very soul -- that is why he wept.
Weeping you all do. That man must have been more honest. On the open road, resting his head on the shoulder of his mother, he started weeping. But how long will this state last? In a few days the Ferarri will become old. After a month or two this man will be sitting in the same car and he will not even feel in what car he is sitting. He will get bored with this car -- but not with cars. Dreams of some other car will catch hold of him. He may think of owning a Rolls Royce now, or some other car. Mind will get bored with one woman or one man -- but it will not get bored with woman as such, or man as such.
We all get bored, but our boredom remains tied to particular things. But the very reality of this boredom does not become a part of
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