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are heading for difficulty. That is one of the greatest mistakes that lovers commit -- and almost all lovers commit it: they think that the surrender has to be to each other. Then in the name of surrender a subtle domination starts.
The surrender has to be to the god of love, not to each other, otherwise there will be difficulty, much difficulty.
How can you surrender yourself to her and how can she surrender herself to you? She will find a thousand and one defects in you and you will find a thousand and one defects in her. One can surrender only to something perfect. It is very difficult to surrender and more difficult when you are in love, because when you are in love you have accepted the other's equality to you.
You can surrender to a master -- you can go to a buddha and a christ and you can surrender -- because from the very beginning you have accepted that the other is higher. Surrender is easier -- you have already made way for it.
But when you fall in love with a woman and a woman falls in love with you, you have accepted the equality of each other; in the very love, equality has been accepted. Now, it is very difficult to surrender to an equal person. So there will be difficulty and unnecessary clash. If you want to surrender and you cannot, you will feel miserable because you will feel defeated and you will feel guilty that you cannot surrender. Because of this idea of surrender you will poison your whole love affair.
Then a very subtle game can start: in the name of surrender you can start dominating and she can start dominating. And women are very very clever in doing that -- in dominating through surrender. They will touch your feet -and their hands are on your neck.
And there is a reason in it: because a woman is a softer sex, more delicate, her ways of dominating are delicate. When a man wants to dominate he will just be aggressive, violent, he will shout. When a woman wants to dominate she will cry and weep. But don't think that she is not trying to dominate -- those tears are to dominate. And of course she succeeds in a better way, because the man cannot cope with it. If the woman starts fighting he can
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