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If the woman hits him, he can cope with it -- he can hit harder; he has more musculature, a bigger body.
So the woman has to go through the non-violent way. That is the very ancient-most way of the woman -- the non-violent way. She wants to dominate you but not through means that you can sabotage -- you cannot even sabotage her efforts. Now, if you really want to defeat her when she is crying, you have to cry more loudly -- that you cannot do, that is difficult, so you have to surrender. And through crying the woman doesn't seem to be trying to dominate -- that is the beauty of it -- but it is subtle domination.
Then you can go on playing the game that you have surrendered to her; now she should surrender to you. Look, you have surrendered to her -- now what is she going to do? She should surrender to you! You have surrendered more and she has not surrendered yet. Mm? then the ego starts playing games. No -- don't bring in surrender. You cannot surrender to her, she cannot surrender to you.
And there is a still deeper layer to it. This is my experience -- and I have observed so many people, thousands, single and couples.... One observation: if you are related to a woman sexually, she cannot respect you and neither can you respect her. Respect is difficult because, down the centuries, sex has been condemned so much that it has gone into the guts, into your very blood.
If a woman finds you sexually attracted to her, she already knows that you are ordinary. If you feel a woman sexually attracted to you, you know that she is ordinary. In fact the charm starts disappearing.
If a woman can pretend that she is not sexually interested in you, you will fall at her feet -- she is a goddess! And if a man can play the game of not being sexually interested, the woman can fall at his feet -- he is a god!
But when you are sexually related you suddenly know that the other is as much in need as you are -- how can you surrender to a needy person? You use him, he uses you, so why surrender? What is the question of surrendering? If he gives you something, you give something to him.
[The man says: Because I feel I hold on, I hold back....
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