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why we hold back. We keep the mystery.
You don't allow the woman to enter into your whole being and know It totally, because once she knows you totally she may become disinterested. You keep a few comers aloof so that she goes on thinking: 'What are those corners? What more have you to give?' And she goes on and on searching and seeking and persuading and seducing.... And in the same way she is keeping much, holding back.
There is some understanding in it, an animal understanding, that once the mystery is known the mystery is finished. We love the mystery, we love the unknown: when it is known, mapped, measured, finished! Then what else is there? Your adventuring mind will start thinking of other women and she will start thinking of other men. That's what has happened to thousands, millions, of husbands and wives: they have looked into each other totally -- finished ! Now the other has no soul because the mystery is not there -- the soul exists in mystery.
This is the logic in it. But when you are truly independent and you are not worried that she can dominate and you are not surrendered to her but to the god of love, then you can open yourself totally. Because then it is not a question of her being with you or not being with you.
Let me underline this idea: when you are surrendered to the god of love, then it is not very very important whether she remains with you or leaves you or whether you leave her or remain with her. One thing is important, that love remains.
Your surrender is towards god, not towards her. And her surrender is towards love, not towards you. So the only question is not to betray love. Lovers can change, love can remain. Once you have understood that, there is no fear.
I am not saying that you have to change -- there is no need -- but this has to be absolutely understood: lovers can change and yet love is not betrayed. You will still be loving -- somebody else, some other representation, some other form, but you will still be loving, she will still be loving. Love has made you so happy that you cannot betray it.
Once this is understood, taken for granted, then you can open totally. And in that
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